So while I was laid up reading and watching Halloween movies (it's never too early!) I dug into my Yoga Journal..and had some realizations.
1st) A woman who has trouble conceiving talks about her journey. There were a lot of parallels: she knew from an early age that she wanted to be a mom, she has a regular yoga practice (she's actually a teacher), she eagerly babysat, she had a lot of childcare knowledge...and she didn't get pregnant when she wanted. She adjusted her yoga practice, went through frustrating IUI, and finally unloaded on a friend after a night out. The friend, after hearing her out, said: "Have you considered that the timing of your conception isn't only up to you? Perhaps there's the spirit of the baby to consider. Who is to say that he or she doesn't have some say in all of this?"
I realized that this need (it's a need by now) of mine is completely selfish. I want a child. I want to be a mom. I want to teach my children how to cook and climb and practice yoga. I want to share all of the great books and music and movies with them. I want to have the house that all of the kids hang out at...I...I...I.
Of course Steve factors in. He'll be an amazing father. If his caliber as a husband is any kind of yardstick...he'll be an amazing father. We waited until he was ready and we're approaching the whole thing together.
But I never took into account the spirit of the child. Yes, I have answered overly nosy questions with "some things are worth waiting for." And yes, I was more relieved than I ever thought I would be when every single test last fall turned up negative. No one needs drastically high fevers, a swollen brain, AND a fetus. But I always thought of it as my time.
That sentence. "Perhaps there's the spirit of the baby to consider." Perhaps there is. No, scratch that. I'm quite certain that our children are having something to say about their birth. My nephew certainly did (three weeks late and would probably still be in the womb if he could.)
There was another article on meditating on the Sacral Chakra, which is the seat of creativity. What I took from that is that the root chakra is dangerously close to where I'm healing. Still healing. And that maybe some Root-centered meditation wouldn't be harmful. It might even help. So I've done a bit of research.
(image from wiki)
The Root Chakra is that bottom one. There's a lot of info on Chakras out there (follow the above wiki link) and I won't bore you with all of the details. Except to say that there are those who believe that the Chakras line up with certain organs in the endocrine/lymph system...so do with that knowledge what you will.
Anyway. For whatever reason, today the blogger isn't letting me embed video. Sigh.
Follow this link for the SNL funny that you should see if you haven't already. (And yes, it's work appropriate :-) )