Nursery 1.0

Can be found Here.

ch-ch-ch-changes

1st off, we got what might be the Cutest Bunch of Carrots Ever in our farm box today. Seriously:

Do I have freakishly large man-hands? Yes. But they're not that big. The carrots are just tiny.

2nd...I persuaded my lovely family to completely jump the gun with me and I am now the proud owner of a gifted (from my lovely family) second-hand stroller.

It will be perfect for strolling up and down Lincoln while we shop and eat and meander. It will be perfect for going on picnics, but NOT for actual hiking on the local trails. The only thing that will work there is one of these:

(not my husband, baby, or backpack. Image from here. Actual carrier will likely be purchased from craigslist.)

3rd: we encountered a snag with the agency we had been talking to about adopting. A major Red Flag. Backstory: you are allowed to specify race and in some instances gender. Steve and I talked about it and decided that our family and friends are colorful enough that regardless of race there would be a loving, stable adult in our lives to provide a "looks like me" role model. Because - to be frank - the only person who's going to understand the race-specific angst that comes with being a person is someone of that specific race.

However, one of the perks of adopting is that you can choose your gender. I feel strongly enough about wanting a daughter that we decided this is the way to go, since that agency we were talking to allowed it. For an extra $5800. If we had specified a boy it would have been the same price. If we have specified a race on top of gender it would have been an additional $5800.

Like with a car, every option adds to the price tag.

We're not buying a car. We're adopting a child.

In addition to that horrifying business practice, there are a lot of allusions to hidden fees in the contract, which means that what starts out already expensive becomes prohibitive by the time they're finished with you.

So we opted out, giving them the very real reasoning that Steve has to have gum surgery this summer, and I might have to have a procedure or two myself (no need for details unless it happens) and we'd rather wait until those are over and done with before we bring a child into our home.

This weekend we're looking at two other agencies, both of whom are very up front about their pricing, and are highly rated with the BBB. I'm not sure if we'll be able to specify gender, but if not, then that just means that the universe decided we need a boy. I'm ok with that.

Happy Friday!

The First Big Phone Call

We were on the phone for an hour and a half this morning. There is so much to process. I'm digesting and when I can present it coherently, I will loop you in.

For right now, though, I'm sharing my first ever purchase for our child:


It's a first printing, if you can believe it. I found it at a lovely little used bookstore here. It's fabulous on many levels:

1) It's Eloise, who is timeless and wonderful.
2) She's in Paris, where will plan on living for a little while at some point.
3) We're adopting a GIRL.

Happy Wednesday!

braindead

Tomorrow morning we have our informational conversation with our adoption counselor. At 9 am PST. We have a long list of questions that are both banal and illuminating.

Am I going to hell because, in case we happen to adopt and African American baby, my ancestors likely owned slaves and neither Steve nor I currently know/socialize with any African Americans and would therefore not be able to provide our adopted child with a role model who looks like her?

Is it bad that we chose "girl" because a) we can since we're adopting and b) I really really want a girl?

Is it wrong that the fact that my Brother In Law will soon become "Uncle Duc" makes me gigglesnort?

Ok, those last two aren't actually on there. We're adopting (and paying through the nose for it) so we should be able to choose our gender.

Luckily, I've been distracted for the past week by a visit from a very dear friend. She came, she slept on the AMAZING air mattress in the guest room (review to come on the embrita blog), we went shopping, hiking, to Monterey Bay, and into San Francisco. There was cooking, baking, giggling, marathon style Weeds watching (if you can cope with the R rating, I HIGHLY recommend it) and now I'm so tired. I might sleep all day after the phone call. If I'm not too wired.

So it's time to head and get some sleep so that I can form sentences for at least the crucial hour or so tomorrow.

I leave you with a photo of the good times:

One Phone Call

and I'm all veklempt.

I just got off the phone with the scheduler for the lawyers. Our consultation is next Wednesday (April Fool's day) at 9am.

Rundown:

We are getting a package (complete with DVD) in the mail in the next few business days. We review and make up a list of any questions we have. Then we meet with the consultant to go over those questions and find out what the fees will be...let's just say that the next time someone says "it's going to cost your first born child" you can equate that to a new Prius. Or a new Mercedes.

The irony is that our insurance will cover infertility treatments. If I manage to get knocked up, it would cover the maternity care - 100%. We have INSANELY good insurance. But there is no financial help for those of us who chose not to undergo hormone therapy and adopt a child instead.

Anyway...so we go through that. And then we put together our family album for the birth mothers to look at. Because they chose us. Not the other way around. People with stage fright need not apply.

We have decided that a semi-open (we'll determine if you can actually decide this later, but for now it works) adoption is the way we're going to go. Because it won't ever be a secret that our children did not spring from our loins. Or our foreheads. So Christmas, birthdays, other major life events will warrant photos and letters. Maybe not as open as my cousin, but then that is a unique situation.

I had to email them a first photo so that they could stick it in the file. This is harder to do than you would imagine. Think about your photos...do you have one where both you and your spouse/partner are looking at the camera, smiling, not wearing some goofy costume/waving around a drink? And where you don't look like sociopaths? Right. One. Maybe two.

Our winner:

Taken in September of 07. Word.

So that's where we're at. I have that high dive feeling again.

OH. And. Once we are deemed "worthy" and we have the funds (read: have sold vital organs) the average match time is FOUR MONTHS. Four Months. Four. Four.

I need a drink.

New Tag

"Thank you for visiting XXXX and for giving us the opportunity to help build your family through the miracle of adoption.

You have just completed the first step of your adoption journey."

You read that right.

Step One. Check.

So from now on, when I blog about our Journey, there will be the adoption tag. For easy reference.

Happy Sunday!