V-day.

Also known as: the halfway point. It was Saturday. I spent the day (me and my low blood pressure) on the couch.

Friday, this happened:

If you turn your head to the side and squint, you can see a face in the right blob. What you can't see (because I'm certain that Bunny would kill me in future for posting the goods on the interweb where nothing really ever gets deleted) is that Bunny is a BOY.

So I spent most of the weekend saying things to Husband like "your son is using my bladder as a punching bag." It makes it more real.

I said the other day to Husband that I wasn't getting a lot of unsolicited advice. I was half-wrong. It's still not obvious to strangers that I'm knocked up, so they don't really say anything. But the people who DO know us? Totally different story.

I feel like making a list of the "oh that'll change when the baby gets here" shit that I'm hearing from people who should know better than to say things like that to me.

* Our car. It's "too small" and of course we're going to need another one so that Husband can go to work and I can go to Dr. appointments. This is Husband's preferred (most days) way to travel:

This is our car:



Yes, it's compact, but we don't need more space than that. We're only having TWO KIDS. And I DON'T WORK.

Will circumstances change that we eventually need a new car? Maybe. But we'd prefer not to have two car payments. (None of this stops Husband from browsing the new cars online, though. He is still male.)

* Elimination Communication. Why do people assume that this means I'm going to let Bunny crawl around without a diaper on and I'll just be following with a mop? Seriously. Think about that for a second. Would ANYONE do that? No. Because it's disgusting and unsanitary and unrealistic. What actually happens is closer to the system for house-training a dog. Except the "dog" in this situation can't walk yet and wears DIAPERS.

Oh - and Cloth Diapers. Forget that they're totally cute Fuzzibunz and BumGenius that we'll be giving a go..."They don't rinse themselves" I heard this morning. You're right, they don't. They also don't blow out as much, have almost no instance of giving diaper rash, don't collect in landfulls (I misspelled that on purpose), and don't wind up costing $3k over the diaper-wearing life of the child. So I have to rinse the poop into the toilet? Bummer. And an extra load of laundry? NOT THAT. Seriously, people. We only have one planet. And Bunny's heiny is one I want to take care of. I could go on and on. But we have a compost pile in the back yard - so clearly I'm not the person for whom the argument "I don't care about the landfills, I'd rather tie it up in a plastic bag and toss it than wash it" WON'T WORK. Clue in, please.

* Pumping and bottle feeding. Will my boobs be a buffet? Yes. But every now and again, Bunny is going to have to get food "to go" and let Daddy feed him. With a boob-shaped bottle. (If he takes it.) I get it from self-labeled "Breast-feeding Nazi's" and the people who think that Breast Milk is for peasants and advocate formula-only feeding. My boobs. My decision. The only other person who will have a say is still cooking, so BACK OFF.

* Montessori/Reggio Emilia. The things I hear. I could flood your inbox with information advocating both of these approaches. You have already raised children, you have already chosen your method, you have don't not a bit of research regarding my plans. You know not of what you speak. My children will not be undisciplined heathens. (Ok, technically they might be heathens, but our education approach has NOTHING to do with that.) They will not die some horrible not-sleeping-in-a-crib-related death. The lack of molded plastic eyesores in our home will not scar them for life. My decision to limit television and the tv-inspired crap that tends to invade the homes of children reared on Disney Princesses will NOT make them social outcasts. And even if it did...is that really the social group we're going to feel like we need to fit in with anyway? No. It's not our lifestyle, it's not going to be Bunny's lifestyle.

* Polly and Kipper. They are part of our family. I am not allergic. Husband is, but not to the extent that he used to be. I will not "prepare myself" to have to get rid of the cats because you're paranoid.

* Circumcision. Is this your penis? Is this your son's penis? Did we ask you for your advice? If the answer to any of these questions is, yes, then I will gladly listen to what you have to say. Otherwise...please stay out of my doctor's office. Thank you.

* Vaccinations. Please see above. Only substitute the word "body" for the word "penis."

Apparently, V-day isn't just the midway point, it also stands for Venty Blog Day. Clearly there were some things I needed to get off my chest.

I'll leave you with a cute:

Polly so very much loves her new bed.

Baby. Daddy.

So I went to Chili's To Go for lunch today because I drove by it on my way home from Michaels (relatively unsuccessful trip) and thought "that grilled Caribbean salad sound mighty tasty right about now..." so I pull a vaguely illegal uturn and backtrack only to find out that not only is it not on the menu, but they can't even pretend it is and rig one together for me. Oh...honey lime dressing, how I'll miss you...

So I order chicken crispers (meh) and spinach artichoke dip (for later) and as I'm sitting waiting for them to make fresh chicken strips and old fries the little girl behind the register and I start chatting.

By little girl, of course, I mean she was probably around my age.

her: "So...how's your day been?"

me: "About like this, but I'm out of the house so it's good!"

her: "Yeah, my car was in the shop last week and I was stuck at home and it just got to be too much."

me: "I hear ya. You have to get out. I think I've watched every dvd we own." (I have. Twice. And all of the special extras because I like the 2-disc versions. Thankfully there's netflix and streaming interwebs)

her: "Do you not have cable?"

me: "No...." and I think, what kind of weird shut-in does she think I am? So then I add "I'm pregnant, and so I'm really tired, so I've spent the past couple of months holding down the couch." No one wants to hear that by "holding down the couch" you mean "not being able to hold down lunch." Certainly not when you've just ordered the greasiest lunch you've had in months. I go on to say, so brilliantly: "Plus, if you're watching something you've seen a million times it doesn't matter if you sleep through half of it."

Yes. I am that lame.

So then she says: "Wow, how far along are you?"

Me: "about 4 and a half months, not that you can tell."

Her: "My best friend is about 6 months pregnant and she's still got a tiny little bump, but she spends a lot of time laying on the couch and we just bring her food." I nod knowingly.

Then she says, very hesitantly: "So do you live with your father - I mean, the daddy...of...your...baby...?"

Me: "My husband. Yes." And then it's like this huge flood of relief (and I realize I had my hands behind my back because I'd been pulling up my still-too-big maternity jeans and she couldn't see the rings.)

She is now effusive: "That's so great! And so exciting! Wonderful!" Tripping over herself.

My question - if you're worried that the answer to the question you want to ask a total stranger is going to make any interaction after that uncomfortable...maybe you shouldn't ask it in the first place.

Just Sayin'.

Then they brought out my food, she wished me luck, I told her to have a nice day, and I came home and watched the commentary for Bewitched.

Vaccinations. Some research.

That's my uterus. Well, it was....10 weeks ago. Meet Bunny, my fetus. Yes folks...we got into the adoption process and I got knocked up. No one wants details so let's just say that I dropped the test on Husband's desk and said "the fuck is that?" I had taken it because I was waiting for my cycle to restart so I could schedule an HSG. Word.

Bunny at 12 weeks. Sex ID will happen at the end of August. You know I'll tell you all about it. (BTW - the 1st tri is like something out of a sci-fi movie. At least Bunny is healthy.)

So. Vaccinations. Lots and Lots of research.

There are extremes, of course, a lot of people in the medical community are throwing down the VACCINATE OR DIE hammer and the other extreme is throwing down a very emotional VACCINES ARE KILLING OUR KIDS hammer.

And since I've been called a "House Patient," it makes sense to think that Bunny will inherit that.

So, here is a preliminary list of my questions:

* kids these days are getting 4 times MORE vaccines than we got. Including Hep B at the ripe age of 4 hours old...if I'm negative and Steve is negative, does my newborn really need to be vaccinated against an STD?
good links:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hepatitis-b/DS00398/DSECTION=risk-factors
http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5251a3.htm


* And Chicken Pox?

* And does such a tiny baby need to be barraged with so MANY toxins (some of these vaccines have... formaldehyde in them and who knows what else) so close together?

* And tetanus. Why is my 4 day old child getting a tetanus vaccine? My crawler? sure. But a child who is going to be swaddled and in a sling and drinking mommy's breast milk is not going to step on a rusty nail. And that's one that not communicable. Unless the infect person turns into a psycho and starts shooting unvaccinated people with a nail gun. ... using rusty nails. AND - why is that vaccine bundled with Whooping Cough? I get that Whooping Cough is deadly in infants and the elderly, but both my GP and an Infectious Disease doc (when I had the brain swell) told me that they've never conclusively seen it and when they think they had they prescribe an inhaler and everyone goes about their lives.

Some links that may or may not be helpful.

FDA warning re: what prevented passage of the vax the 1st time around http://baby.families.com/blog/fda-issues-warning-for-rotavirus-vaccine

I have particular issue with this one. Remember the Lyrica? That wasn't passed the first couple of times and then - without being improved - it was - and I had all of the wrong side-effects. I hate to take that chance with my infant.

cdc schedule: http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/recs/schedules/downloads/child/2009/09_0-6yrs_chart_only.jpg

alternative schedule: http://www.lewrockwell.com/miller/miller15.html

1974 schedule: http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=371005

regarding what I like to call the Merck-CDC circle Jerk: http://parenting.families.com/blog/your-childs-been-invited-to-a-pox-party (ok - it's not listed in this article, but Merck is the only company that makes the chicken pox vaccine. They donate hundred of thousands to he CDC research fund. The CDC says kids NEED this vaccine to go to public school. Merck makes a ton of money...you see where I'm going with this. It's shady.)

a "what if": http://health.families.com/blog/what-if-we-stopped-immunizations

FAQ: http://health.families.com/blog/eight-questions-answered-about-immunizations

The anti-homeopathy rhetoric: http://www.randi.org/site/index.php/swift-blog/661-hiding-homeopathy-behind-real-science.html


Since we plan on living overseas, yes there will ultimately be vaccinations. Because even though Polio is basically eradicated here...it's not everywhere - for example. But I just need more information. I'll keep you updated.